Photo courtesy of: https://unsplash.com/chrissardegna

I’ve heard that question so many times from men and women, and this one: why, when we are told we are born confident, don’t we carry on being confident for the rest of our lives?

The truth is that we’re not born with instructions, or a blueprint of what our life will beNor does life follow a straight line from point A to point B. We hit bumps, have to steer round sharp, sudden corners and sometimes have the lights turned out on us, so we’re left alone in the dark.

In other words *!**!! happens and how we steer ourselves out of it is up to us, but each incident can either leave us a little more vulnerable or can be the one thing that makes us stronger and more confident depending on the way we see it, the spin we put on it if you like. It really all depends on whether we stick to our values and goals in life, or if we even know them and whether we trust ourselves to know what’s best for us.

It isn’t always clear to each of us what our values are, and we are haunted by the thought that figuring out what they are is merely “navel gazing”, or a total waste of time, because it’ll never get the dinner cooked, the kids picked up or the report written. But if you know what’s right for you and you honour yourself, little-by-little self-confidence builds up.

Little-by-little is how we built our confidence as a child and is a good phrase to live by when re-building your lost confidence. Don’t try to rebuild confidence all at once, take small steps, set short-timed, easy to achieve goals and reward yourself with something special when you reach them, do this for a while then move onto slightly bigger, harder to achieve goals still making them achievable and again reward yourself for getting there. You can do it. Think of when you were a child and the things you couldn’t do then that you can now. You achieved all those things, you, not someone else.

Here’s something for you to try:

• Decide on one thing today that you can do, by the end of the week that will take you one step towards your goal of increasing your self-confidence. Just one thing, nothing too big. Make it something realistic, something you know you can achieve in a week. When you achieve it make sure you know what your reward will be.

Confidence is like a muscle – just like any other muscle it needs to be exercised regularly to build and stay strong. Practice being strong everyday and love life.

Til we meet again

Amanda