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Life doesn’t always go the way we want or expect, sometimes a hiccup occurs that can feel more like a full blown heart attack.  It can take just one thing to trigger us into falling apart. At this point in time it can be almost impossible to stay confident and positive about the rest of your life.

This happened to me just recently.  After weeks of planning a trip to Europe to see family, including booking kennels for the dogs, making arrangements to see various people in different locations, checking flight details, arranging for a house-sitter, searching out travel options, re-arranging plans for work and other visitors coming to stay with us “a proverbial spanner was thrown in the works”. Just when we thought everything was figured out for the long trip, the whole thing had to be cancelled.  All that planning, that build-up of excitement, I felt like I’d hit a brick wall at high speed. Crash test dummies have life easier.

It sounds like a little thing that you shouldn’t get upset over, but little things have a habit of turning into big deals.

Needless to say there were tears, and that’s to be expected as expectation and excitement  give way to frustration and disappointment.  I’m a great believer in not bottling up emotions as that can lead to further stress and serious illness down the road, so I knew it was good to let it all out, but, let’s be honest it never feels good at the time you’re falling apart.  Am I right?

Oh My God I’m Falling Apart

This is exactly how it feels, right? Life, no the world is collapsing around you, you feel useless, helpless, unable to carry on, unable to do anything right. When a situation like this arises, and for most of us it does from time to time, you need to acknowledge your emotions which can be done privately (washrooms are always a good place for book reading, recalling important things and calming down). Once the initial emotions have started to subside and the dust begins to settle, it’s easier to re-frame the situation in a more positive light.

How Did I Deal With It?

It was time for me to drag myself to a quiet room where I felt safe (my bedroom works well for me) let it all go and then take a slow, deep breath, close my eyes and remember all the things I have in my life that are good, times when I felt happier and more relaxed.  As I began to calm down I realised there were other possibilities, other times we could go and, yes, we may miss a celebration or two, but it’s not the end of the world and this way I get to decorate my house earlier in the year, plant my garden and tend it until the plants are strong so they produce more vegetables.  As I thought it through there were so many positive reasons this situation was good.

It’s Not Always Obvious What’s Good

However, it’s not always easy to see what’s good about your situation, occasionally you need to put some distance between you and it.  Now is a good time to take a walk to calm down,  getting outside allows you to breathe, calm down and change pace and scenery.  It gives you time to reassess what really happened and what the implications are.  Maybe you need to talk to a friend, a co-worker, or relative who can help you put the whole situation into perspective.

Life does go on and it is worth remembering that if life was easy going all the time it would soon become very dull and boring.  As you learn how to deal with whatever has caused you upset, the more tools you will have in your arsenal to deal with the next issue and the more confident you will become.

TTFN

Amanda