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A question I have been asked a lot lately by clients and readers is “what is confidence and why do we make such a fuss about it?”

It is a good question and not one easily answered because confidence can mean different things to different people.

Think for a moment what it means to you.  To me it means being able to enter a room of people feeling relaxed and comfortable enough to talk to any of them without fumbling over words, looking white as a sheet and missing lots of opportunities to connect with new friends, partners, and  business contacts. It means being self-assured enough to be myself.

From a business point of view it means being able to work as a productive member of a team, being a good leader and knowing what your limitations and talents are, so that you can project a self-assured image that evokes trust in co-workers, bosses and clients.

From a personal point of view it’s pretty much the same.  People need to know they can trust you.  If they do not trust you, they will not respect you as a productive member of society.

Is it easy to become more confident?  No, it takes work.  Is it worth the effort?  If you want to be happier in your life and work, or if you want people to recognise that you’re a person with real talents, abilities and opinions that count, then yes it’s worth every minute you give to build your self-confidence.  If you have kids it is equally important to teach them confidence and they will learn most easily off you.  So, if you are self-confident and believe in yourself they are much more likely to believe in themselves.

Can you be too confident? Yes.  Being too confident is just as bad as being under confident, it can make you appear arrogant and self-obsessed, so it’s important to aim for a balance. It’s worth remembering that some people use over-confidence to cover for their lack of real confidence in themselves.

What can you do to build your confidence level?  As I said it takes time.  Small baby steps are the best way to start.  Pick a goal that’s relatively easy to reach, such as going for a walk, or using the stairs at work instead of the elevator, smile and say hello to the person serving you at the store.  As you achieve each goal your confidence will grow and after achieving success at small goals, try choosing something a little bigger, but remember set yourself up for success don’t make your next set of goals too big.

Confidence comes with practice.  It takes time and effort, but the rewards are huge.  I have seen clients lives change dramatically so I believe that makes it time well spent.

TTFN

Amanda