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How good are you at convincing yourself that you’re not good at something, or that you’re under qualified for the job, or just plain can’t do it?

For instance, recently I had a client who told me he just couldn’t make a cold call to a potential client something a lot of people have trouble with. It was holding him back in his business which should have been booming, he had the contacts, he had clients showing interest, but when he had to call them back he just couldn’t do it.

I hear this from my clients a lot whether it concerns there business or their personal life. So what is it that stops you? What prevents you from taking the next step?  Fear. Fear stopped my client from picking up the ‘phone and talking to the person on the other end about his company and what he could offer.  What caused this fear?  There could be a number of reasons; the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear that the person on the other end knows you and holds an opinion of you, or may know more about the subject than you, the fear of inadequacy, fear of the unknown.

These fears are, generally, irrational, but still exist and are strong enough to stop you performing a simple task, ie making a phone call.  The good news is that you can change these fears over time by believing in your abilities, believing in yourself and, with practice, you can become an expert at the one thing that held you back for so long.

There are a number of simple things you can do to lessen your fears and increase your confidence and drive yourself forward. Taking the example of making a cold call you can:

• Create a list of points you want to make/cover during the call. You can do this like a check list if it makes it easier.

• Walk yourself through the scenario of the call in your mind, talking to the person (who politely listens) imaging questions that may be asked and answering them to the best of your knowledge (because you know the product or service you’re trying to sell) make notes if you if makes you feel more confident.  You can do all this before picking up the phone.

• Give yourself a pep talk, by acknowledging that you know what you are talking about, tell yourself that you have equally or more knowledge about the product or service than the person you are talking to. Go over what you know about the product, service etc.

• Take deep breaths before and during the call (when there is a break in conversation or while the other person is talking, but don’t forget to listen to them). This will help focus and calm you.
• Pay attention to the other end of the conversation and make some quick notes  about  points that come up, so that you can respond easily to their concerns.

• When you finish the conversation, tell them how much you appreciated their patience, time and interest.  When planning your conversation it’s always worth thinking about how you will finish your conversation. A few polite pleasantries can make you seem confident and in control, even if your palms are sweaty.

Finally, pat yourself on the back and reward yourself in some small way. You know you’re worth it.

If you do this, each time will get easier and easier and one day you will giving this advice to someone else and wondering why you got in your own way.